


Nightmares And Other Memories

by intern_at_german_chapterhouse



Series: The mechanic, the hero and the kind soul. [3]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Harley Keener & Peter Parker Friendship, Hurt Peter Parker, Nightmares, Peter Parker Has Nightmares, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-04-08 08:43:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19103659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intern_at_german_chapterhouse/pseuds/intern_at_german_chapterhouse
Summary: Have you ever spent the entire day at the pool, fooled around in the water with some friends, sat in the sun listening to music? And then gone home to take a little nap because the hot weather and playing with a ball in the water made you tired? Have you ever taken that kind of nap, your hair still wet, smelling of sunscreen? Peter used to love those naps. But nowadays he can barely close his eyes without having a nightmare...





	Nightmares And Other Memories

You know those naps you take after spending the day at the pool with your friends? When you're tired but happy and it's warm out but you feel just a little bit cold from the water? And you just put on a shirt and your trunks are still wet? Those naps that feel like an eternity and when you wake up you don't really remember where you are but you feel kind of happy and just content? Peter was hoping this was gonna be one of those. But instead he falls down on the bed in damp swimming trunks, shoves his arms under the pillow, puts his head on it and closes his eyes.  
And he's right back.  
 _Back on that battlefield, surrounded by people in various stages of dying. There are some running towards their death and some just got hit by an alien weapon, some are falling to their knees screaming, others already lying on the floor. Some of those are crying, yelling out for help but there is no one. No one can go sit with them comfort them, no one can save them, because the battle isn't won yet and so they scream for help that will never reach them. And there's Mr. Stark. His hand is glowing and he says something that Peter can't make out over all the screams and all the noise surrounding him and he snaps. And falls to the ground, sinks back and just sits there as the aliens fade away. And it is so quiet all of a sudden without the noises of a fight that Peter can hear even more people scream, he can hear them all. His ears pick up every cry around him, every last breath, every head hitting the ground as a person dies. And it takes him a second, or maybe an hour he doesn't know, to focus on Mr. Stark. And he hears the faint heart beat of his mentor growing weaker with every second. It gets faster and quieter and Peter knows what that means. He's heard the same exact thing a hundred times since they joined the Avengers on the battlefield. Tony is dying. And Peter can't do anything about it. And in his dream he can't even go to him. He can't move. And no one else does. It's just Peter and Tony and Peter hears Tony's heart giving up, hears the last beat, a last fight for his life. For a second, there's silence. And then the last air trapped in his mentor's lungs escapes and its a horrible sound and it drags on for ages. Peter can't hear anything else just that last breath escaping a dead man's lips and he yells. He yells and screams and he doesn't know what he's yelling or who he hopes will hear, he just screams._  
That's when Morgan shakes his shoulders only the tiniest bit but it wakes him up. He turns around and pushes himself into the corner of the room, right up against the head board of his bed. He pulls his knees up as far as he can and buries his face in his arms. He's crying, his face is wet and his nose is running. And Morgan is sitting on his bed with a worried look in her eyes.  
"You were yelling," she says. "You said Dad's name."   
Peter takes a deep breath and answers "I was just having a bad dream. It's okay. I'm okay. Thank you for waking me up." He does his best to smile at Morgan and she almost seems to buy it. But not really. God, that little girl is way too smart.  
"Are you sure you're okay? You sounded scared." He gets on his knees and hugs her as hard as he can without hurting her.   
"I'm sure. I'm okay, now that you're here nothing bad is gonna happen, right?" She nods her head and hugs him back as far as her arms can reach. He let's go of her and she gives him a warm smile.  
"I'm gonna go downstairs and make you some hot chocolate. With looots of marshmallows and mom can't stop me." And with that she leaves the room and Peter sinks back into his pillow and the tears he's been holding down as long as Morgan could see him roll down his cheeks.  
"Dude, you're not okay." Harley's voice makes Peter jump up in surprise and for a second he's hanging on to the wall three feet above his bed until he calms down and gets back down. He hadn't even seen Harley there, sitting on the other bed in the room they shared whenever they stayed over at the Starks' house.  
"No, I am. Seriously."  
"Are you kidding? We've been here almost a week and you haven't slept through a single night without nightmares. You get out of bed every morning at five and go to sleep at one in the night. That's four hours of screaming and yelling and tossing. You're not okay." Peter doesn't really know what to respond to that.  
"What was it this time?"  
"Huh?"  
"What were you dreaming about? From what I've heard there are three things you dream about. Like, last night you were telling someone that you didn't want to go and that you were hurting. The night before that you said you couldn't move and couldn't breath and there was a fire. And right now you were yelling Tony's name. That one happens the most."  
Harley gave the other boy a few moments to collect his thoughts and just waited for him to be ready. He had wanted to confront Peter for a few days now but had been scared. They didn't really know each other that well but enough is enough. This is something Peter had to talk about.  
"I saw Tony... I saw him dying. And I heard it. His heart, his... His breath. I heard him dying and I couldn't do anything and I... I was useless. Just like when... When it really happened." Peter has his head buried in his hands but he has to move them because he feels like he can't breath. Almost as if he were back under that building, unable to move or breath, helpless, useless.  
"Okay, but what could you have done?" Harley asks calmly. Peter crying kind of freaks him out. Although they both have been upset the entire time they've known each other, Peter usually holds it together pretty well. At least during the day. At night, when he is asleep, he looks like a ten year old boy, scared and lonely. And Harley's heart aches whenever he sees the boy tossing and turning, tears in his eyes. He wants to help but he has no idea what to do. So he just listens to Peter telling him about his nightmares.  
"I don't know. I could have used the gauntlet myself."  
"That would have killed you." Harley's answer is determined, almost cold. He has no doubt that Peter could have never survived using the Infinity Stones himself and he wants Peter to believe that too.  
"Maybe, maybe not. I'm stronger than most other humans and... Tony shouldn't have died. He had a daughter, a family. I..." Peter's voice drifts off again. He doesn't want to cry anymore, he's so tired of it. Or maybe he's just tired in general.  
"You have an aunt and friends that love you and need you. Tony... Ever since I met him, Tony had this stupid tendency to try and sacrifice himself so that other people could live. You couldn't have stopped him from doing that. He did what he needed to do and no one could get in his way when he set his mind to something, you know that."  
For a few seconds they sit there in silence until Harley cautiously asks Peter to tell him more about the dream itself. "You said, you heard Tony dying?"  
"Yeah. After I was bitten by that spider, my senses were basically dialed to eleven and... I could hear his heart. It got faster and faster because it was too weak to pump enough blood. And then it slowed down and stopped. That wasn't the first time I heard someone die, there were hundreds of people dying."  
Peter took another deep breath and waited a while before he continued speaking. Harley sits across from him on his own bed, listening carefully.  
"You know how they say someone takes their last breath when they die? That's not really true though. I looked it up. When you take your last breath, you inhale and then exhale. But there's still air in your lungs. And once you're dead and your muscles stop moving, your torso caves in on itself and the rest of the air is forced out. It's so loud, Harley. And it sounds like it hurts- I know, I know that that's stupid because he was already dead but it sounded so... So harsh and violent. And it feels wrong. That your body does something you've been doing literally every second of your entire life on its own. Just... It was horrible." And Harley has no idea what to say. He's never seen someone die. He's never even seen a dead person.  
"I was sitting next to Tony when... It happened and then Pepper came and Mr. Rhodes I think was holding me and I think I was yelling at him and hitting him. Telling him to let me go, but he wouldn't. And I can't really remember anything after that, just that Pepper and I were sitting in the ground hugging each other and... God, I could hear all the others. There were so many people dying and screaming for help and not enough people to help and those last exhales, they were everywhere and it was so loud and... I have no clue how I got away from the battlefield. But we weren't that far because just a few hours later there was the smell. Bodies start to decay basically right after death and it stinks. And I could smell them. All of them. I don't think the others could but I did. Isn't it funny that you can't really smell in dreams? Because if I could I'd be smelling that stench in every single nightmare."  
Harley lets Peter talk without interrupting him, mostly due to the fact that he still has no idea what to say. But it feels as if retelling his nightmare and the events on the battlefield helps Peter. He seems to calm down and stops crying. So Harley just let's him speak and when he's finished he lets him think for a while. And after a few moments, Harley asks: "What about the other nightmares? The one where you can't breathe?"  
"Oh, that was ages ago, I got a building dropped on me and was kind of trapped under some rubble. But I got out and saved the Vulture and no one got seriously hurt, so I count that as a win."  
"Oookay." Harley nods as if those were normal sentences uttered by teenagers.  
And that's when they hear a loud bang from the kitchen. They share a look and then both get up and run down the stairs. There's a broken mug on the floor and hot chocolate spilled everywhere.  
"What happened?" Peter asks Morgan.  
"DUM-E let my mug fall down. It's okay, DUM-E," she says and pets the robot. Peter and Harley both chuckle while Harley gets a mop to wipe the floor and Peter makes another mug of hot chocolate. And then they sit down together and drink their chocolate and talk. They laugh and throw mini marshmallows at each other and Peter almost forgets about his nightmares.

  
From that day on, Peter talks to Harley every time he has a nightmare. When they're not at the house by the lake, he calls him. No matter what time, Harley answers immediately and just listens to Peter. And it helps. Just getting it out, telling someone. Peter is pretty sure that Harley tells May what Peter tells him, but that's okay. He's just looking out for the younger boy. And May never pressures Peter into talking to her, she's just happy that he's talking to anyone.  
And slowly, over the weeks, the nightmares come less and less often. Peter finally sleeps more than just a few hours again.  
And one day they start telling each other the good dreams they have too. The funny ones and the happy ones and they far outweigh the bad ones and suddenly those feel less threatening.  
Morgan loves those mornings in the kitchen with hot chocolate and stories of dreams too. Dreams about teachers turning into crabs ("He looked exactly like Sebastian in Arielle, I swear!") and flying castles and talking foxes.  
On some days, Peter just sits there and listens to them turning a short dream into an hour long story and can't help but to smile.  
You know those naps you take after spending the entire day in the lake with your older brother and your little sister? The ones you wake up from still a little hazy but really freaking happy? Peter loves those.


End file.
